A Rare Taste For Brandy
by Varietygirl9143
Summary: [ON HOLD!] Marauders era. their last hogsmede trip. sad goodbyes and obsessive bum staring. JPxLE eventually. R&R! rated for later chapters, i think. OOCness on Lily's part... not so much for the Marauders....


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter people, places, or things.

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Chapter 1: Hogsmede Day

James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Together. In Hogsmede. A recipe for disaster. But so far so good. It was the last Hogsmede trip of the year—the last ever for the Marauders, because even Peter had graduated.

The streets were rather muddy, but that was fine; what mattered was that it had rained last night and not that day. As the four Gryffindors made their way down to the village, the students around them didn't give them a second glance—even though Remus and Peter were discussing the best method of de-dunging something and James and Sirius were skipping in circles around their friends, occasionally stopping to shout out a gleeful "Hogsmede Day!" To the other students, this was normal.

But as soon as they reached the village, things changed dramatically. Sirius kept stopping to bid a mournful good-bye to _everything_; James started wailing loudly when Peter realized they'd never enter Zonko's again; even Remus looked remorseful when they passed the Three Broomsticks.

As they wandered the streets, talk finally turned to past Hogsmede trips. At least for the time-being.

"Hey, Peter, isn't that the rock you sat on when Padfoot and I burned a hole in your pants with that Filibuster?"

"Yeah--"

"Good-bye rock!"

"Shut up, Padfoot!"

"I think we scarred the whole school, Peter--"

"Yeah, Wormtail, no one should have to see your arse!"

Just then Remus started chuckling. Sirius looked at him for a few moments with an odd expression on his face. James whispered to Peter, "It wasn't that funny!"

Finally Sirius said, "Well, Moony, care to enlighten us folk of less intelligence?"

"Remember the first time we went into Zonko's? You and James were fairly drooling!"

"Yeah, it was heavenly," James said with a sigh.

"Hey, let's take bets: when is there more drool? When we see Zonko's or Evans?" Sirius asked playfully.

"I'm for Zonko's," Peter piped up, handing 5 Knuts over to Sirius.

"I'm not so sure, Peter," Remus said sagely, "there's a veritable cascade when we see Evans."

"Well, gents, we'll know the answer in a moment. Moony—if I may relieve you of your money?"

Remus reluctantly handed over 5 more Knuts and then whispered privately to Peter, "I'm not sure that money will ever see the light of day again."

"Yeah, ol' Padfoot sure is sticky-fingered, aren't you, mate!" James said boisterously.

"Huh?" Sirius asked; he was quite preoccupied with the anatomy of the opposite gender.

By this time, it didn't matter where they were. All that matters is that they were in Hogsmede in search of one Lily Evans and generally being random. The rest of the population is convinced that everyone's favorite trouble-makers are high. Probably just a sugar buzz.

Sirius finally broke his gaze from whoever the poor girl was, and said, "Hey, guys, you realize once we graduate we won't have to listen to any of our parents rules about girls! Being grown-up is sweet!"

At that he started laughing like a pervert.

Unfortunately, this hadn't crossed the others minds before now either. So they spent the next ten minutes staring at random girls' bums. Except Peter. He kept glancing at guys. (Ever wonder why he hangs out with Voldemort? Now we know why. Ew.)

Lily Evans also chose this inopportune time to walk around the corner of some unimportant building.

James looked up eagerly as soon as he realized whose bum he was staring at.

"Lily! Want to go grab a drink with yours truly?"

"Um, ok. As long as it's Whole Grain, Fat Free, Sugar Free, Caffeine Free, Low Calorie, and Reduced Cholesterol. Oh, and if you get drunk, I'm not taking you home."

James walked off blissfully with Lily on his arm. As they left, Remus swore he heard James say something like "hello, sweet world of adulthood!"

Sirius rubbed his hands together and said, "Well, I love happy endings, don't you? Now if you two lovely chaps will excuse me, I have some business to attend to at the Hogs Head."

And he too walked off, singing a made-up song with no set tune and not the best rhyme, with words that went something like,

"_Gonna try some Brandy_

_Maybe Fire-Whiskey_

_At the Hogs Head-y_

'_Cause they won't card me!_"

Remus watched him stroll off with a very amused expression on his face. Once Sirius was out of sight, Peter turned to Remus and said, "Moony, what was that all about?"

"Well, Peter, let's just say I think we're going to see two dead drunk boys in our dormitory tonight."

"'Dead drunk'?"

"Yeah, it means--"

"Oh! Like my hamster!"

"What!"

All the sudden, the look on Peter's face went from joyful understanding to a look of pure horror.

"Remus! Are James and Sirius going to die?"

"No, I don--"

"Because my hamster died after she had fire-whiskey!"

"You fed your hamster fire-whiskey?"

"I'M A BAD HAMSTER BUDDY!"

And with that, Peter threw himself at Remus and started sobbing into his shoulder.

Remus patted Peter rather awkwardly on the back and said, "It's ok… I'm sure it wasn't, well, as bad as all that…."

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Please review. Chapter 2 will be posted as soon as I get an idea (ie, soon).


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